It's worth it to wake.
Musings on waking up, literally.
I still struggle to wake every day.
Even when I sleep 9+ hours.
Even with the healthiest wind down and wake up routines I've had in my life.
Even when I get to wake up on my schedule.
It's hard to know if this is a habitual, physical, emotional, energetic, chemical, or whatever else thing, or a combo most likely.
All I know is that I love nothing more than my bed in the morning.
I think it's also because I descend so deep into the liminal realm in my sleep... resurfacing feels hard and I feel stuck in that state between realities.
Yet once I wake I remember all that's waiting for me in the conscious realm;
the sun or clouds, the bees and trees, a loving partner and cats to feed...
I remember my rituals and routines I seek to allow ample time for.
I've gotten better over the past decade - I no longer wake up 10 minutes before I have to go somewhere, I eat a real breakfast, I allow an hour or more to ease into the day and meditate, etc.
Maybe I'm just not an early morning person... I've always loved the night.
But these days I want to take advantage of the sunlight - to be outside and tend to the land and witness all things awake.
I've tried every-thing when it comes to waking; alarm clocks gentle and abrasive, across the room, in other rooms, digital and analog, gradual and abrupt, and so many other waking up techniques... I won't list them all.
What's come closest to working for me is putting an alarm that I neither despise nor can ignore on in my studio near my altar where I start my day with windows open and all the things I love.
I must admit, even the location isn't enough some days - just being honest.
So I was sent a message, from some spirits and part of me who was listening, to be reminded at that subconscious level that it's worth it to wake. It's worth it to allow myself ample time and space to start my day. It's worth it to open my eyes and experience the other side of my existence.
Something to drop me back into my physical senses - a visceral sign of all that awaits me.
It helped me today - and I'm grateful for that.
Maybe it's the colors, the fact that it's a felt message... yet who knows.
One day at a time, I'll wake with willingness and find my own pace and way.
Thanks for listening,
p.s. I’m sharing a free Cyclical Mindfulness meditation inside our free cyclical community here if you’re interested! Click here to receive it.