Hesitation is a hallway - and Resistance is the gateway to resilience
Maybe they are the sign of helpful pause for discernment, rather than quicksand to get stuck in.
Resistance & hesitation are always in my peripherals. Today I realized, perhaps they're not a pressure, but a friend.
They are familiar and I think they are witnesses of my care.
I hesitate because I care so much and don't want to fuck it up. I feel resistance when I love something so much but feel the pain of separation when I keep myself from it due to some unrealistic expectation of being "ready" or "right" for it.
But I'm practicing not letting it stop me, and trying to remember the times it actually helped me actualize my care.
I'm trying to pay attention to the pattern; resistance as action rather than a condition is what creates change and hope.
Perhaps the presence of the twins of resistance & hesitation is a sign to bow to them - in honor and recognition of their signaling some potential impactful enough to invoke care & fear.
Maybe they are the sign of helpful pause for discernment, rather than quicksand to get stuck in.
From this place of surrender and honor on my knees, I can be empowered as I meet the Earth as my support system, and recognize what a sustainable relationship and pace is past the bow... to consider surrender not an overpowering, but a means to an important beginning or returning.
Resistance may be the gateway to new forms of creation or liberation - and my hesitation is just the hallway waiting for me to pick an exit to an entrance;
an invitation of readiness beyond impulsivity, but true resiliency.
Here's to hope beyond hesitation, and the gift of rooted remembrance that lives within the folds of resistance.
Gratefully Connected,
Rachael Amber (they) of Cyclical Roots
Fluid & Rooted is a free space where I share my poetry, writings, drawings & more in hopes of offering you connection and inspiration. You can subscribe for free to receive notice of new shares. Supporting donations are optional but always appreciated and will be rewarded with shop discounts & more.
You can also support my devotion to creating connective art while receiving for yourself by checking out my Current Offerings:
Cycles Journal (now 50% off): a devotional space to self-awareness through personal & lunar cycle tracking.
Undated Cyclical Notebooks: some tracking features in an open space for release.
The Cyclical Mindfulness Guide & Workbook: support in finding center in times of change.
Presence in the Process Patreon: where I share behind-the-scenes on my latest projects, as well as weekly card readings as I work on the Embodied Ecosystems Tar-Oracle.
Free Resource Library: a collection of worksheets, meditations, community & more.